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7 Tips To Control Spousal Abuse And Domestic Violence

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Because something is not favorable, it doesn’t mean it has no solution. In this article, you’ll get to know how to control spousal abuse.

<!-- set a 626:352 i.e 16:9 aspect ratio --><img src="spousal-abuse.jpg" width="626" height="352" alt="a man humiliating his spouse. Illustration of spousal abuse">
Photo Credit: Freepik / KamranAydinov

It’s a great feeling having someone you call your partner. It’s also good finding someone with whom you plan to spend the rest of your life. Unfortunately, spousal abuse sets in and ruins everything.

On a normal instance, it will look like calling the union off. But it’s not that easy. In such instances, one of the best decisions would be to control it. This is where you need to come up with strategies on how to go about it.

Abuse on its own is regarded as improper use and misuse of something, or improper treatment and unjust application of something wrongfully.

Spousal abuse or abuse in a relationship or marriage means the various improper treatment rendered upon a spouse that is considered unjust, wrongful, or bad purpose.

In marriages, the signs of abuse you should be looking at comes in various ways. They could be physically, emotionally, financially, or sexually.

Spousal abuse in relationships and marriage

For effectiveness in controlling spousal abuse, it takes more than just knowing the manners it comes as. There’s also a need to know the practical strategies you should apply on specific occasions.

To tackle this, you will need to take into account the various types of spousal abuses as well as the strategy to use. For an idea on this, understand that spousal abuse differs from abuse outside of marital homes.

Here are the spousal abuse in marriages:

  • Physical abuse – this is the act of making forceful and harmful attacks on the spouse irrespective of what was involved in the hit.
  • Financial abuse – this is the act of leaving your spouse to carry the family finances alone, and deprivation of your spouse’s part in your finances.
  • Emotional abuse – Emotional abuse is intentionally or unintentionally depriving your spouse of love, care, emotions, attention, and needs.
  • Sexual abuse – sexual abuse is intentionally or unintentionally depriving your spouse’s attention for his or her desire for intimacy.

Although there are many forms of abuse, some could only be regarded as similar or related to any of the spousal abuse in relationships and marriages.

Abuse outside relationships and marriages

The abuse outside of relationships and marriages are the ones that are common in our society.

The following are the abuse outside of relationships and marriages:

  • Verbal abuse – verbal abuse is aggressive and disheartened spoken words that are directed to someone without consideration.
  • Drug abuse – this is the intentional or unintentional misuse or improper use of drugs that could turn out to be disastrous to the person who got involved in it.
  • Discriminatory abuse – Discriminatory abuse is the act of making decisions based on prejudice to set one apart because of certain differences.
  • Psychological abuse – this kind of abuse refers to an unfavorable act done that affects one emotionally, mentally, and behavioral characteristics.
  • Child abuse – child abuse is the degree of the emotional, physical, or sexual mistreatment of a child that causes long-term or permanent damage.

Causes of abuse in relationships and marriages

More often, spousal abuse arises in relationships and marriages as a result of couples not recognizing the abuses in their relationships. Although couples may be aware of them, they may take them lightly.

However, couples fail to realize that these abuses will not resolve without taking action. As a result, it may worsen and could lead to failed relationships and marriages.

The main cause is because the acts are not regarded as what they are by couples. It starts as a habit that gradually develops into spousal abuse and domestic violence.

Although it’s not wrong to think that lack of communication and understanding can cause it. But then, it boils down to ignorance of the acts and their effects on the relationship or marriage.

Strategies to control spousal abuse and domestic violence

Here are strategies to control spousal abuse and domestic violence.

1. Join a support group

A support group acts as a line of defense against spousal abuse. Joining a support group will also give you the confidence to act on your decision. But you will need to ensure they’re willing to help one another.

A support group is a group of members that provide help for one another. Ideally, you would want to make sure that the support group is like-minded people and share the same issue as you.

Also, they should be the kind of people you can trust. It’s important not to share your problems with people you can’t trust or get help from. Ensure that they are open to you as well.

It should be a group of people with similar problems. They should also be able to share a solution that works for them. But remember, it should be a group of people that you can trust and expect from them in return.

2. Develop other involvement

When you’re experiencing any sort of domestic violence in your marriage, there’s a need for extra involvement. You also have the right to involve legal practitioners. They protect rights and help to protect one from hurt.

If you can take a bold step to do it earlier enough, you will stand a greater chance to control the situation. While it’s a smart move, the approach to it also matters. It’s important not to impose a threat using this technique.

Failure to go about this technique the right way may be counterproductive. If your spouse seems not to be comfortable with it, you may want to adjust and take other strategies into considerations.

However, in some cases, it could be the most vital technique you need. This makes it very important to be decisive when dealing with this approach.

3. Call an abuse hotline

The abuse hotline acts as a support to people facing issues related to spousal abuse. They are there specifically for any kind of abuse you could be facing.

Although the abuse hotline cannot offer any solution then, it will terminate any further harm of domestic violence. If you eventually make the call, it would be best to follow it up quickly with reliable actions.

It could be explaining what warranted you to call the abuse hotline to any support group you have chosen to join.

This kind of action on your part is a sort of direction to solving the problem. Next, set up a strategy around it. You could also follow it up by letting your counselor know about it.

4. Develop a support system

It’s also important to build a network of people you can get emotional or any kind of support from. While this technique is also an effective one, you will need to find ways to make it more effective.

At the very best, the support system should comprise people you trust. These people could be your friends, coaches, or family members. The union in the support system will also determine how strong it will be.

Since spousal abuse is a difficult time of marriage, one of the best ways to handle it is through the support system. More often, it starts with knowing what you want out of it.

To build a support system, you will be left with various options. For example, do you prefer to do so by joining organizations with your neighbors? Any option that suits you amongst all is okay.

5. Try to get counseling

Professional assistance in handling spousal abuse can also be one of the most effective strategies. Counselors will guide you on how to resolve your marriage problems.

According to studies, couples’ counseling comes with lots of benefits. Some of them are enhancing the connection, clearing marriage setbacks, and a better understanding of how couples feel about each other.

Although getting counseling when dealing with spousal abuse may not be an idea some couples will buy, it’s an effective strategy for most couples.

However, not all couples may be able to afford professional counseling. But there are other ways to go about it like starting with the resources offered in institutions. A mentor can also be an alternative for counseling

6. Practice meditation

Marriage has its challenges. When the challenges become heavy, it may frustrate couples into spousal abuse. This is where meditation comes in, as it calms the pressure in the marriage.

Aside from that, due to the hurt, you get from the abuse, you may not feel much connected to your spouse. But with meditation, you will still feel close to your partner.

You could meditate any time of the day. The most important thing is to bring the inner mind to peace. But you can still try different times of the day to figure out the time you prefer.

Good meditation is not rapidly battling your thoughts. It’s a state of mind that makes you peaceful with your thoughts. It can even be to the extent you get lost in your surroundings.

7. Recognize the abuses

Recognize the domestic violence you’re experiencing. Understand that no problem can be solved without realizing the problem. This makes it important to put efforts into identifying spousal abuse.

While your goal is to control spousal abuse, you would also want to make efforts to recognize the abuses. This will enable you to go about handling spousal abuse the right way according to the kind of treatment you get.

Spousal abuse and domestic violence are killers of marriages. Therefore, the earlier you discover spousal abuse, the better. You also don’t want something that will bring you down psychologically.


Most marriages experiencing spousal abuse probably haven’t recognized it yet and its effects. As important as it is to realize and know the effects of spousal abuse, so it is to take measures in terminating them.

With patience and proper implementation of these strategies, coupled with a desire to save marriage, positive results are guaranteed.

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