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5 Crucial Mothers’ Mistake Why Girls Are Needy in a Relationship

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Mothers are also reasons why girls are needy in a relationship. Knowing this can help to stop neediness. This article explains five of them.

<!-- set a 640:360 i.e a 16:9 aspect ratio --><img src="needy-in-a-relationship.jpg" width="640" height="360" alt="a mother happily carrying her daughter. Illustration of daughters being needy in a relationship">
Photo Credit: Pexels / RUN 4 FFWPU

Girls are very emotional. So the relationship of a mother with them goes a long way on they manage their emotions. Whether it has to do with their early or later stage. And what they grow with is what they possess.

Clingy and emotionally needy daughters or those you perceive to be one are simply damsels in distress. Acting in ways that are toxic to them will not just hurt their feelings, it also tends to influence their self-esteem.

The truth is that you can hardly tell when you’re clingy or needy in a relationship unless you’re been told by someone, probably someone close to you. However, if you managed to figure it out yourself – applauds. It shows that you’re quite in control of your emotions.

But you can always tell you’re clingy when you don’t seem to be satisfied emotionally. No matter how hard the person in question tries. Let’s start by knowing the effects of neediness.

Its effects on others

To justify, it’s not okay to be clingy when considering the person on the receiving end of the behavior. Behaving in such a way intentionally may not be clear to you that it hurts the intended person.

Being clingy unintentionally is normal, because the act comes from a subconscious side that is suffering on the inside.

However, whether it’s done intentionally or not, those on the receiving end of it will be hurt, and it could affect your relationship with them.

Facts about girls being needy in a relationship

From the moment a baby is born, the baby must be shown enough love, care, and attention. Aside from showing love and affection to babies, females, in particular, are very emotional and need more attention.

The best thing to do is to make sure their emotion is not hurt. So, it’s best to abstain from things that will hurt them in one way or the other.

Unfortunately, most mothers don’t know that the relationship with their daughters also plays a role in how their daughters manage their emotions. That’s the reason why mothers should be caring and loving to their daughters.

But it shouldn’t start and end anytime soon. It should be a continual process. In other words, mothers shouldn’t stop showing their daughters love because they have reached a certain age. But when their daughters reach maturity age, then they can withdraw a bit.

Being clingy and needy in a relationship

After a girl experiences a toxic relationship with her mother, it’s likely for her to become needy in a relationship. But she can always control this act with little effort.

What do you notice in your relationship? Start with that. After figuring out what you noticed, find out what caused it, then you will have the solution. Often, you can tell if a girl is clingy when she’s never satisfied with the emotional care she gets.

That means it just won’t be enough, no matter the effort you put in to satisfy them emotionally. With that, we can say that clingy behavior means acting in a manner that frustrates the efforts of a person innocent of his or her intentions.

Unlike the case of girls, a clingy boyfriend is more often a result of the habit he developed. However, in order not to cause problems, the right way to tell him will go a long way, especially when dealing with a toxic relationship.

You can do that by indirectly telling him when he’s in a good mood or when you both are having a good time together.

How to stop being clingy and jealous

The best way to stop being clingy or needy in a relationship is to have a great relationship with your mother. Although this would have been taken care of at the initial stage, it’s still never too late to strengthen the bond with your mother.

Later in this article, we shall be looking at those mistakes mothers do that make girls needy in a relationship.

Going forward, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with attaching yourself to someone. But there’s a difference between that and being clingy or needy of emotions.

The neediness here is the fact that the person possessing it can’t feel satisfied emotionally in a relationship. That means the person is never satisfied with the amount of love given to them.

It’s also important to know that children, especially the daughters, should be satisfied emotionally by the parents, and most importantly, by the mothers.

It’s a sort of mother and daughter relationship. Even though daughters tend to be closer to their fathers sometimes, the mothers should never limit their relationship with their daughters.

Because when daughters lack that bond with their mother, it results in clingy traits and emotional neediness. So, to answer the big question, why do girls end up being needy in a relationship?

Mothers’ mistakes why girls are needy in a relationship

Having known what being needy is and its effects, let’s find out the solutions by knowing how mothers cause it. Here are mothers’ mistakes why girls are clingy and emotionally needy in relationships.

1. Being dismissive

There are certain times girls will go to their mother for advice or just to have a good chat. Sometimes, she may go to her mother for support or in any other way the mother could assist with her problems.

Dismissing daughters at a crucial time like this will make them feel rejected, and they will end up being needy in a relationship. It will also make them lack experience at certain things in life, especially as a girl.

If such happens, the more curious ones who didn’t get what they expected will be forced to portray the trait of emotional neediness, even at an early stage.

Then, that’s when they just feel they could get that which they were deprived of learning by getting hooked up with anyone.


Apart from the fact that they seek full attention from anybody, they’re fighting something within. Because they’re emotionally hurt as a result of the toxic relationship with their mother, they’re combating something more serious.

Now, when you think you’re trying to show them emotional care, it just won’t be enough. The main factor is missing. That’s what is needed to feel the gap of all the emotional neediness.

Instead of being dismissive and making a daughter turn away, it should be used as a medium to create a stronger bond.

Mothers should be welcoming to their daughters. It will set the right pace in the relationship with their daughters. They also must know when their daughters need support, even when they don’t ask.

2. Being controlling

Mothers shouldn’t put a policy of restrictions on daughter, rather they should apply the rule of diplomacy when the situation calls for such.

In most cases, you will realize that daughters get scared of a controlling person. That means it will be very important for mothers not to be controlling when dealing with their daughters.

The mistake most mothers make is causing their daughters to fear them, either by being controlling them or any other harsh approach. Whether it’s done consciously or unconsciously, it’s very important not to get daughters scared.

Well, mothers may be that way as a means of parenting. That could be okay to some extent. However, they may do so as a means of upbringing when daughters are very little, but when they begin to mature, mothers need to stop controlling them.

That means mothers should try as much as possible to avoid such acts. There’s a safer way mothers can go about it if they want to set up a good upbringing, but not in a manipulative manner.

3. Being unavailable

Nothing hurts a daughter emotionally like unavailable parents, especially from the mother. Sometimes, daughters will need that care and love from their mother. The best they expected at that time is for the mother to be there for them.

Unfortunately, mothers can barely tell when their daughters crave that love and care they deserve. That’s why being available for daughters as a mother is very important.

How do you do this? You Prioritize their attention over urgency. The better a mother can convey this to her daughter, the better she frees her from emotional stress.

If the mother travels a lot, then she must communicate more often with her daughter. If the daughter can travel along with the mother, she should do so.

There are certain connections daughters get when they do fun things with their mothers. The connection she has with her mother will eventually pay off when she grows up and begins to stay away from home.

Besides, daughters barely forget the great times they had in the past, especially when it involves their mother. Memories like the travel experience she had with the mother will keep her going when she feels down.

There are many little things mothers do with their daughters thinking it doesn’t make any difference, but most times, such things mean a lot to their daughters.

4. Being emerged

Daughters also hate it when their mother is not consistent with being with them. Because of that, a mother should plan a schedule to suit the daughter.

At least she doesn’t want to get her daughter thinking, “mum could be here for me, but she chose not to and all of a sudden, she’s back again.”

This is very important to avoid, especially when daughters begin to feel very close to the mother for the attention she’s already giving.

Sadly, the mistake some mothers make is that they tend to be away for long, and when next they come back could be when the daughter is trying to move on.

That means if the mother chooses to be there for her daughter at all times, then it’s very important she maintains it.

The strong reason for this is so that the daughter doesn’t get to feel something different from what the mother expects, such as having the thought of the mother not taking her emotions seriously.

When this is not controlled, daughters will end up seeking better attention or excess of it somewhere else. Because the memory of kids develops at a rapid pace with what happens around them.

Therefore, their brain should also be properly stimulated before they reach maturity age. If their brain is not well stimulated when they’re little, it will lead to a “not-so-good” behavior when they grow up.

5. Being combative

Girls also don’t like their mothers being mean to them. They’re very emotional beings, and according to studies, they’re 70% more likely to miss-quote mean personality than males.

Good parents know this well because if it gets to daughters and they wait to see if there will be a change and nothing happens, questions may begin to come out.

In most cases, they may end up feeling like they are not loved, cared for, or something discouraging to their emotions. When such lingers for a long time, it could affect their emotions negatively.

Just like it was earlier mentioned about their brains and memory development, they can be very good with memories, so being combative should be avoided.

That means a mother should also note that children’s tender age is very important concerning how they’re treated. When such lingers for a long time, it could affect their emotions negatively.

In that case, mothers should consider it when they happen to do anything with their daughter. Daughters may grow into maturity age and understand people and their mother for being mean, but not when they’re little.

So, that means by mothers avoiding being mean with their daughters, they also protect their daughters from being needy in a relationship.

In conclusion

It’s important to understand and accept how emotional girls can be. This will go a long way in how they manage their emotions.

To make sure that a girl maintains a healthy emotional state free of emotional neediness, she needs a solid relationship with her mother.

Most relationships with ongoing emotional neediness from the girl were as a result of this poor mother-daughter relationship. However, developing a great relationship between the mother and her daughter should be able to help in resolving this.

While developing the relationship as a mother, it’s also important she takes note of those actions that could trigger the neediness so that she can avoid them.

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